The Discovery of My Life's Purpose

Recently I re-read a couple of books which caused me to pause and take a look at my life to determine what my vision for my life is. One of these was "Man's Search for Meaning" by psychologist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, the other was "The Anatomy of Peace" by the Arbinger Institute. Victor Frankl's philosophy is that every individual has a purpose in life. That purpose differs in each person, and is determined by that individual. In order to overcome any trial, affliction, depression, discouragement, etc, no matter how big or small, a person must discover the meaning of their life and actively pursue it. The Anatomy of Peace is a parable of a man who is put in a position where he is brought to understand his need to find inner clarity and peace in his interactions with himself and others.

Both books inspired me to contemplate and re-evaluate what brings meaning to my personal life, how I interact with the people around me, and what kind of influence I would like to be on the world. I had the time to reflect on what makes me truly happy, and how I personally integrate that into my life. Here is what I came up with:

The meaning and purpose of my life is to help other people to fulfill their individual potential and to be able to do the things that bring meaning to their lives.

This is a recurring theme in my life in various ways. It has manifest itself in my educational and occupational pursuits, my religious service, and my relationships with the people I care the very most about. This theme is what brings enjoyment and meaning to me in art, music, literature, theater, film, dance, philosophy, education, religion, and culture

I don't know how to express the journey I have undergone over the last several years which have helped me to better understand myself, so I have created a brief timeline of the most influential learning experiences in my life for a little over the past decade that have this recurring theme. You are welcome to skip the timeline to see my goals in relation to the purpose of my life.

My Process of Discovery Timeline

Childhood
-Development of my love for people, different cultures, religions, and languages
-Exploration of meaning in dance, art, music, and nature

2001-2002: 
-Discovery of my love of the human body and medicine
-Grappling with the divorce of my parents, finding healing and peace, learning to interact in a healthy way with the opposite gender (really this should go under the years 2001-2012)

2002-2006:
-My fascination with physical therapy and watching the physical body heal
-Caring for my siblings and helping them deal with the emotional turmoil in our lives and encouraging them to do their best in their pursuits

2009-2010
-Serving and growing to love the people of Switzerland as I helped them in their spiritual journeys of healing, love, understanding and peace. Love of helping them to strengthen their families, creating relationships with God, improving their personal finances, serving the people around them, growing in confidence and abilities as they served in the church organization

2011-2014
-My interest in psychology-particularly abnormal psychology
-Working at the Utah State Hospital, an acute & long-term psychiatric hospital changed my life-Seeing people overcome their physical and mental challenges, heal, grow, and learning to love people without regard to their past mistakes

2012-2013
-Serving as the president of the local chapter of the world's largest women's organization helped me to connect with beautiful, strong women seeking to find their own purpose in life and strengthen their relationships. I enjoyed hearing about the challenges in their lives and attempting to assist them with their physical, spiritual, and emotional growth

2012-2014
-Learning about addiction and learning to love people despite the sometimes devastating effects it can have on relationships and individuals. Supporting and listening to some of the people I love the very most grapple with these challenges
-Working with people with disabilities to help them find and maintain employment has helped me to see how engaging and participating in the community through employment helps people to gain self-confidence, self-reliance, new skills, develop relationships, and experience an overall increase in happiness and self-loveg
-Building a great friendship and finding the love of my life in this friendship changed me and helps me every day to learn to be a better person (we joined and began our lives together when we were married and sealed for time and all eternity on 16 August 2013 in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple!)
-After undergoing a crisis in which I did not know what educational & vocational paths to pursue, discovering there is a vocation called "occupational therapy" which encompasses all of the things I am fascinated with changed my life! Shadowing the profession helped me realize that OT is the perfect vocation for me, because it is therapy to help people participate in the things that bring meaning to their lives.
-My application and acceptance to Massachusetts General Hospital Institute of Health Professions in Boston will bring a new chapter of my life this June (2014) and help me to pursue the things that bring meaning into my life and other's lives. I'm thrilled, nervous, elated, excited!!!

Again, the meaning and purpose of my life is to help other people to fulfill their individual potential and to be able to do the things that bring meaning to their lives.

My goals in relation to my purpose in life (not necessarily in order):

-Graduate with a doctorate in Occupational Therapy

-Make a difference to individuals and communities

-Provide service in the communities in which I live

-Travel the world and serve other people

-Raise engaged, thoughtful, and considerate children

-Nurture relationships with the people around me, particularly my husband, children, family, and then expanding to a wider circle of people within the community including church members, friends, professional relationships, and under-served populations

-To have a heart at peace with myself and those around me

I would recommend that you read those books, and then take the time alone in a peaceful, happy place to consider what your own life purpose is. I believe that God guides and directs us, and he can help you to realize that purpose in your live. Your purpose and meaning in life is as unique as you are, and no one can tell you what that purpose is, only you can find it.

Ring in the New Year

2013 has been a great year for me! It has also been full of learning experiences, growth, and change. A lot of chapters of my life closed, and new ones were open full of possibility, stretching, experience, and success. Here are some of the things I've done and learned:

In November of 2012 my life was changed when I decided to "try out" dating John Gaskin. By March of 2013, I realized I wanted to spend my life with him. We got officially engaged in July (although we had chosen a date by April). We began our life and eternity together on 16 August 2013 in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple, South Jordan, Utah. Thus our new, crazy adventure began together!
My John is the best thing in my life. I love him, and I love to spend time with him (see why here)! Our courtship had lots of challenges, since he was unemployed for 5 months, but it was a blessing for us to work through those difficulties together. I feel it prepared us for working through life together. We love cooking delicious food together, playing with t3h Gnyardon, reading together (currently the Wheel of Time series--we're on book 5), occasionally playing games together (currently Donkey Kong), cuddling and watching shows, spending time with family, etc...
Along with my husband, getting married brought these great things into my life: I finally became an AUNT (hooray!) to the cutest nieces and nephews ever!!! And I got an evil, fangly cat!

I finally graduated from Brigham Young University with a bachelor degree in Exercise Science and German (double major). Hooray!!! Finally moving on to a new stage of life in my education and professional life!

By April, I realized that I was not accepted into physical therapy school, which although disappointing turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise. Had I gotten into graduate school as planned, I don't know what would have happened between John and I. After being rejected, I went through a "quarter life crisis" as I like to refer to it. After re-evaluating my vocational goals, I discovered occupational therapy! I did everything necessary and applied for occupational therapy school, which I am thrilled for!!!! So far I have an interview at one school (upcoming in February), and there are still lots of schools I haven't heard back from yet. John graduates in April 2014, and sometime in the summer we plan on being off to a new phase in life!

One of the biggest life changing discoveries for us was a budgeting program called, You Need A Budget, or YNAB. In the 3 months since we began budgeting with YNAB, it has revolutionized the way we think about budgeting and money. We are on track to meeting our goals, communicating about money, and feeling so much more prepared for the future. PLUS we LOVE our budgeting meetings! They are truly a lot of fun!

At the beginning of November I got a new job, which I am really enjoying. I work for RISE Inc. employment services. We work with people who have disabilities to help them find and maintain employment. I currently coach our clients on life skills (finance, personal hygiene, work appropriate communication, etc) and I coach individuals at their new jobs. I love meeting so many great people and getting to learn from them. I'm looking forward to learning and growing at this great opportunity.

I am so grateful for the opportunities presented to me this past year, and I'm so grateful for so many fabulous friends, my family, and my new family members!!! I'm excited for 2014 and the adventures it will bring!!!

The Opening and Closing of Doors

Sometimes I lose my perspective.
Sometimes I don't know where perspective has gone, or how to get it back, I just feel discouraged.
Sometimes life falls perfectly into place, but more often than not life can be a struggle. 
The last few weeks have that way for me, it felt like every door I expected to go through has been closed. Since high school, I have wanted to study physical therapy for graduate school. I am finally graduating with my undergraduate degree in exercise science and German from BYU this April. During the fall semester, I spent a lot of time and money applying for graduate school only to not be accepted. Of course I was upset, angry, disappointed and discouraged.
At the same time, contrary to what my mind was thinking, I felt at peace with the results. I felt that everything is taking place for a reason. Although I felt like God is in charge and everything will work out, I've had a lot of ups and downs as far as my emotions and acceptance of it all go.
A couple of weeks ago my awesome home teacher shared a general conference talk with me. In it President Howard W. Hunter talks about the opening and closing of doors--what to do when one opportunity is closed and another opens. He says the following on the subject:

"Where one door shuts, another opens, even for a prophet in prison. We are not always wise enough nor experienced enough to judge adequately all of the possible entries and exits. The mansion that God prepares for each of his beloved children may have only certain hallways and banisters, special carpets and curtains that he would have us pass on our way to possess it.
"At various times in our lives, probably at repeated times in our lives, we do have to acknowledge that God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see." -President Howard W. Hunter ("The Opening and Closing of Doors" General Conference October 1987)Bir

This talk really hit home. I've been so frustrated that MY plan isn't working out, that I wasn't taking the time to find out what GOD'S plan is for my life. So one door has shut, but another door will open. One of my life's most common lessons is that it is all about timing. Timing is crucial in every aspect of my life, and often God's timing is not the same as my own timing.
This last week I finally stopped moping and decided to DO something to move forward and progress in my life. I've been looking more seriously into my options, though it sometimes feels overwhelming because there are so many options! Which physical therapy programs should I apply to or reapply to in the fall? Should I apply for alternative graduate programs as well? Is there a different career path I should pursue? What should I do this summer to prepare for graduate school? Should I find another part time job, retake some classes, find another internship, or should I shadow different health professionals? 
One thing I do know for certain, is that everything will somehow work out. Someday at a time and in a place I will look back and see the blessings which have come from the closed doors. I will see the doors which opened permitting roads and journeys which have led to my growth, development and happiness. I once posted my favorite poem on this blog, but as it is relevant to this topic I will post it again.


The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, 

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the ones less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Life is full of unexpected twists, turns, struggles, but also unforeseen joys. I am grateful for some of the positive turns my life has taken during the last couple of months. I am also very grateful for the wonderful friends and people who I have in my life. I am looking forward to seeing the roads which my choices now will lead me along. I am excited to see the doors which will open during the next year as I continue to prepare for the future. 

Worth it

Sometimes it's worth taking a risk, even if the potential to experience incredible hurt or disappointment exists. Do I have trepidations? Yes. But the potential for good in the experience outweighs any possible negative effects. I'm taking a leap of faith, trusting that I will not fall but fly.