The Discovery of My Life's Purpose

Recently I re-read a couple of books which caused me to pause and take a look at my life to determine what my vision for my life is. One of these was "Man's Search for Meaning" by psychologist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, the other was "The Anatomy of Peace" by the Arbinger Institute. Victor Frankl's philosophy is that every individual has a purpose in life. That purpose differs in each person, and is determined by that individual. In order to overcome any trial, affliction, depression, discouragement, etc, no matter how big or small, a person must discover the meaning of their life and actively pursue it. The Anatomy of Peace is a parable of a man who is put in a position where he is brought to understand his need to find inner clarity and peace in his interactions with himself and others.

Both books inspired me to contemplate and re-evaluate what brings meaning to my personal life, how I interact with the people around me, and what kind of influence I would like to be on the world. I had the time to reflect on what makes me truly happy, and how I personally integrate that into my life. Here is what I came up with:

The meaning and purpose of my life is to help other people to fulfill their individual potential and to be able to do the things that bring meaning to their lives.

This is a recurring theme in my life in various ways. It has manifest itself in my educational and occupational pursuits, my religious service, and my relationships with the people I care the very most about. This theme is what brings enjoyment and meaning to me in art, music, literature, theater, film, dance, philosophy, education, religion, and culture

I don't know how to express the journey I have undergone over the last several years which have helped me to better understand myself, so I have created a brief timeline of the most influential learning experiences in my life for a little over the past decade that have this recurring theme. You are welcome to skip the timeline to see my goals in relation to the purpose of my life.

My Process of Discovery Timeline

Childhood
-Development of my love for people, different cultures, religions, and languages
-Exploration of meaning in dance, art, music, and nature

2001-2002: 
-Discovery of my love of the human body and medicine
-Grappling with the divorce of my parents, finding healing and peace, learning to interact in a healthy way with the opposite gender (really this should go under the years 2001-2012)

2002-2006:
-My fascination with physical therapy and watching the physical body heal
-Caring for my siblings and helping them deal with the emotional turmoil in our lives and encouraging them to do their best in their pursuits

2009-2010
-Serving and growing to love the people of Switzerland as I helped them in their spiritual journeys of healing, love, understanding and peace. Love of helping them to strengthen their families, creating relationships with God, improving their personal finances, serving the people around them, growing in confidence and abilities as they served in the church organization

2011-2014
-My interest in psychology-particularly abnormal psychology
-Working at the Utah State Hospital, an acute & long-term psychiatric hospital changed my life-Seeing people overcome their physical and mental challenges, heal, grow, and learning to love people without regard to their past mistakes

2012-2013
-Serving as the president of the local chapter of the world's largest women's organization helped me to connect with beautiful, strong women seeking to find their own purpose in life and strengthen their relationships. I enjoyed hearing about the challenges in their lives and attempting to assist them with their physical, spiritual, and emotional growth

2012-2014
-Learning about addiction and learning to love people despite the sometimes devastating effects it can have on relationships and individuals. Supporting and listening to some of the people I love the very most grapple with these challenges
-Working with people with disabilities to help them find and maintain employment has helped me to see how engaging and participating in the community through employment helps people to gain self-confidence, self-reliance, new skills, develop relationships, and experience an overall increase in happiness and self-loveg
-Building a great friendship and finding the love of my life in this friendship changed me and helps me every day to learn to be a better person (we joined and began our lives together when we were married and sealed for time and all eternity on 16 August 2013 in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple!)
-After undergoing a crisis in which I did not know what educational & vocational paths to pursue, discovering there is a vocation called "occupational therapy" which encompasses all of the things I am fascinated with changed my life! Shadowing the profession helped me realize that OT is the perfect vocation for me, because it is therapy to help people participate in the things that bring meaning to their lives.
-My application and acceptance to Massachusetts General Hospital Institute of Health Professions in Boston will bring a new chapter of my life this June (2014) and help me to pursue the things that bring meaning into my life and other's lives. I'm thrilled, nervous, elated, excited!!!

Again, the meaning and purpose of my life is to help other people to fulfill their individual potential and to be able to do the things that bring meaning to their lives.

My goals in relation to my purpose in life (not necessarily in order):

-Graduate with a doctorate in Occupational Therapy

-Make a difference to individuals and communities

-Provide service in the communities in which I live

-Travel the world and serve other people

-Raise engaged, thoughtful, and considerate children

-Nurture relationships with the people around me, particularly my husband, children, family, and then expanding to a wider circle of people within the community including church members, friends, professional relationships, and under-served populations

-To have a heart at peace with myself and those around me

I would recommend that you read those books, and then take the time alone in a peaceful, happy place to consider what your own life purpose is. I believe that God guides and directs us, and he can help you to realize that purpose in your live. Your purpose and meaning in life is as unique as you are, and no one can tell you what that purpose is, only you can find it.

Father's Day

I made a fun fathers day gift (thanks to pinterest) last Sunday!!! :)

Inside the shirt

Hummus

One of my all time favorite snacks is hummus and chips! When we first started dating (at the beginning of November of last year), John insisted he didn't like hummus. Well, after trying the hummus I like to buy, he decided he likes it! We eat hummus and chips at least every other week. 

This week, John decided to try his hand at making some! It turned out pretty good, but the recipes online suggested adding water which we discovered diluted the flavor too much. John has lots of ideas for the next time we attempt our hand at hummus again.

I wish my camera on my phone were better, but these turned out pretty cute anyway. :)

Together Again

The Robinson Clan is together again for the summer! The exciting thing is that with Alyssa graduating from High School in a couple weeks, we'll all be in the same singles ward! Yesterday we walked in the rain to an El Salvadorian restaurant to get Pupusas to eat, yum!!!! On our way back we stopped by Brad's favorite shop ever, the Great Salt Lake Guitar Factory. Great day!!! :)

Books & Little Girls

Recently John and I read an excellent article entitled "How To Talk to Little Girls" by Lisa Bloom  In this article, Lisa Bloom points out the fallacies in our typical interactions with little girls. She points out that in our conversations with little girls, we often tell them how cute they look, focusing on appearances and teaching little girls that we value how they look. She points out the consequences of emphasizing appearances:

"Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What's missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments."

After reading the article, I realized that Lisa is correct. I work with children and adolescents at an acute psychiatric hospital, and many of them have an unhealthy focus on their appearances. Some of them have eating disorders or disturbances, and many of them fixate on looking a certain way or being perceived as "hot" or "sexy". Instead of placing their self-worth on the mind, or positive personality traits, many of these girls place their self-worth simply on how they look. This negatively impacts their self-esteem and self-identity. To combat this, Lisa makes the following suggestions:

"So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. One tiny nudge towards valuing female brains. One brief moment of intentional role modeling. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? No. But I did change Maya's perspective for at least that evening.

"Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does."

For the last couple of months I've made a conscious effort to attempt this. During my interactions at work and with little girls in the neighborhood and community, I've been asking about what they are reading. However, I haven't limited this to little girls, I've also been asking the little boys at work what they are reading and what they like about what they read. The first time I asked the question to the children at work, there were mixed reactions. Some of the children were really excited to talk about the books they were reading, while others didn't know how to respond--perhaps they had never been asked the question before.

One particularly poignant reaction was from a little girl who had been sexually molested at a very young age. Although she's only 8 or 9 years old, she is constantly striving to act and be treated as if she is 17 or 18 years old. However, her perspective on how older women act has been very skewed by her life experiences. She believes that to be a teenager or adult, she must be "sexy". She constantly checks her appearance in the mirror, tries to sway her hips as she walks, and dances as "sexy" as possible to the music playing. She talks about who she thinks is "hot" and which boys she wants to kiss. I always try to steer the conversation away from these topics, but have never been successful. Until I asked this little girl what she was reading.

At first the little girl was surprised that I asked her what she was reading, but then her face lit up! With a huge grin she told me she's reading "Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Farm". I grew up reading Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and I love those books. We talked about the book and what a funny person Mrs. Piggle Wiggle is for a full 15 minutes! It was incredible to see the difference it made by simply asking this little girl what she is reading.

Some days the kids at work aren't reading anything, and sometimes it's hard for them to focus on having a real conversation about the mind. However, I am going to keep trying, keep asking them about what they are reading, what they like about it and why. I want to promote placing value on the mind beginning when girls are young to help change the culture of sex being placed on women in society.

Change

My final semester at BYU is drawing to a close, and I'm faced with a lot of decisions concerning my future. While I am excited to conclude my undergraduate education, and I'm excited to enter a new chapter of my life, change is also intimidating.

I work at the Utah State Hospital, an acute psychiatric inpatient care facility, and this morning I was reading an article written by the superintendent. In this article, he discussed change in our individual lives, pointing out that so often we forget the very thing we discuss with our patients to help them deal with change: change can be a great opportunity for growth and happiness.

I'd like to share a couple of quotes which the superintendent shared which were particularly poignant. The first of these quotes is by a philosopher who said, "If nothing changes, nothing changes." This is so obvous!!! Why is it so easy to forget that if we want our life to change, we have to CHANGE!!!!? We can't expect to retain the same routine and have changes for good, we must make changes to have change in our life!

The next quote is by Elbert Hubbard, who points out that: "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." Sometimes I get caught up in worrying that I will make the wrong decision. I procrastinate make a decision for long periods of time, only to miss out on opportunity. Sometimes in the future I look back at a decision I feared to make and laugh at my own fear. I can see the good that has come from making a decision, and I sometimes wish I wouldn't have wasted so much time worrying about the decision.
A leap of faith is exactly what it sounds like--a stretch! Yes, it is uncomfortable, and yes it can even be painful. But when we make the changes necessary to change without fearing we will make the wronge decision, we will make progress in our lives. We will experience blessings and opportunities. And we will ultimately find growth and joy resulting from change.

Lyssa

In costume for her high school's production of "Hello, Dolly" last week

I love my baby sister!!!!!!!! Alyssa is 7 years younger than me and 5 years younger than Brad--a surprise addition to our family. I remember putting my head on Mom's tummy waiting to feel Lyssa move around inside. When she was born, I was so excited and wanted her all to myself. Unfortunately, when they came home from the hospital, I was sick and wasn't allowed to hold Lyssa for a few devastatingly upsetting days. :) Lyssa is my favorite and only sister. In some ways I helped raise her, and I love to see her learn, grow and progress. She is a very fun loving, talented, goofy, thoughtful, happy, spiritual, intelligent girl who I am proud to call my sister. I am so grateful to have her in my life!!!

What a cutie!!! :)

My Cathryn Friend

I love this girl!!!!

Pedicures!!!!!!!!!

 Me, Mom and Alyssa went and got lovely pedicures together!!! It was Mom & Alyssa's first time getting pedicures, and it was hilarious! Mom & Lyssa are both super ticklish and they kept giggling and their feet kept jerking around. It was so funny to watch! But they are both excited about their cute toenails and soft feet now!!! Plus we got super cute flowers! :)