The Opening and Closing of Doors

Sometimes I lose my perspective.
Sometimes I don't know where perspective has gone, or how to get it back, I just feel discouraged.
Sometimes life falls perfectly into place, but more often than not life can be a struggle. 
The last few weeks have that way for me, it felt like every door I expected to go through has been closed. Since high school, I have wanted to study physical therapy for graduate school. I am finally graduating with my undergraduate degree in exercise science and German from BYU this April. During the fall semester, I spent a lot of time and money applying for graduate school only to not be accepted. Of course I was upset, angry, disappointed and discouraged.
At the same time, contrary to what my mind was thinking, I felt at peace with the results. I felt that everything is taking place for a reason. Although I felt like God is in charge and everything will work out, I've had a lot of ups and downs as far as my emotions and acceptance of it all go.
A couple of weeks ago my awesome home teacher shared a general conference talk with me. In it President Howard W. Hunter talks about the opening and closing of doors--what to do when one opportunity is closed and another opens. He says the following on the subject:

"Where one door shuts, another opens, even for a prophet in prison. We are not always wise enough nor experienced enough to judge adequately all of the possible entries and exits. The mansion that God prepares for each of his beloved children may have only certain hallways and banisters, special carpets and curtains that he would have us pass on our way to possess it.
"At various times in our lives, probably at repeated times in our lives, we do have to acknowledge that God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see." -President Howard W. Hunter ("The Opening and Closing of Doors" General Conference October 1987)Bir

This talk really hit home. I've been so frustrated that MY plan isn't working out, that I wasn't taking the time to find out what GOD'S plan is for my life. So one door has shut, but another door will open. One of my life's most common lessons is that it is all about timing. Timing is crucial in every aspect of my life, and often God's timing is not the same as my own timing.
This last week I finally stopped moping and decided to DO something to move forward and progress in my life. I've been looking more seriously into my options, though it sometimes feels overwhelming because there are so many options! Which physical therapy programs should I apply to or reapply to in the fall? Should I apply for alternative graduate programs as well? Is there a different career path I should pursue? What should I do this summer to prepare for graduate school? Should I find another part time job, retake some classes, find another internship, or should I shadow different health professionals? 
One thing I do know for certain, is that everything will somehow work out. Someday at a time and in a place I will look back and see the blessings which have come from the closed doors. I will see the doors which opened permitting roads and journeys which have led to my growth, development and happiness. I once posted my favorite poem on this blog, but as it is relevant to this topic I will post it again.


The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, 

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the ones less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Life is full of unexpected twists, turns, struggles, but also unforeseen joys. I am grateful for some of the positive turns my life has taken during the last couple of months. I am also very grateful for the wonderful friends and people who I have in my life. I am looking forward to seeing the roads which my choices now will lead me along. I am excited to see the doors which will open during the next year as I continue to prepare for the future.